The LazyAssGeek’s

Just writing this so that as the weeks, months & years go by my old-man memory can use it as a refresher as to what the hell we did! I’m leaving out pics in this because the highlights have already been posted and all of the pics can be viewed by clicking here.

Saturday

Shockingly the flight to Vegas went as smoothly as you could want, especially considering it was US Airways! No wait to check the bags at the curb, no wait in the security line, flight left on time… it was spooky. The German contingent really enjoyed flying over the grand canyon on the way in and getting their first glimpse of the Strip. Everything smooth getting the ill-fated minivan as well.

Tahiti turned out to be great – easy to find, good location (ok, traffic on Tropicana can be a bear at certain times of the day) and the room was excellent. They have a cool setup where they have a 1 bedroom suite and then a studio style room that are adjoining with locking doors like a hotel. That lets them rent/sell as 2 singles or as a 2 bedroom room unit.

We were all really hungry by the time we got checked in, unpacked and organized so we headed just down the street to Orleans and grabbed a meal at the Chinese restaurant there. I really like the casinos owned by the Gaughns. They are nice places but not overdone like the big places on Las Vegas Blvd. We didn’t make it to any of the others, but I really liked Sun Coast the last time I was there and South Point sure liked like a nice place as we passed it going South on I-15 later in the week.

We grabbed the shuttle downtown to Treasure Island where Alan & Heidrun were staying and met up with them. We headed over to Venetian to give them their first “wow” casino experience. That was my 2nd time in Venetian and it was just as impressive the 2nd time as it was the 1st. The lane they have setup for shopping is really cool. The lighting is especially impressive as they have managed to give the lane a very natural daylight look. That is very hard to do but they’ve done it so well with the lighting and the ceiling painting that your eyes actually get fooled into thinking the clouds are moving sometimes. We wandered around, did some window shopping and grabbed a couple of drinks at one of the bars. Joerg had a pink one, and I of course will never let him forget it! We were all pretty worn out by then so it was time to grab the shuttle back to Tahiti and get some sleep.

Sunday

We had a nice casual, slow, relaxing Sunday morning. Drank our coffee (we grabbed a pound of good stuff @ Seattle’s Best in Orleans), watched some football, read our books, etc. We drove down to Stratosphere and checked out the amazing views at 900′ and the idiots on the rides at that height! We went to the restaurant there on the 106th floor and had a very nice brunch. It was interrupted every so often by a woman with Tourettes Syndrome, but fortunately for the staff there she expressed it as noises instead of profanity!

After brunch we went down to the Fremont Street Experience and spent some time gambling at Golden Nugget (Joerg won about $60 playing roulette) and wandering the shops, displays and casinos along Fremont. I really like Fremont St, after the insanity and big money it just seems as every-day casual as a casino area can.

From there we headed up for a quick peek at the Hard Rock Hotel so Joerg could drool over all the guitars and rock memorabilia. After that quick visit we walked across the street to Hofbrauhaus for some dinner & beer. The food was very good, though Andy was disappointed in the preparation of his Wurstsalat and volunteered to show the kitchen how to do it properly. Earned him a rather dirty look from the waitress. Fortunately he didn’t give the woman selling Jagermeister shots the same kind of lip.. she was carrying a paddle and she knew how to use it! Our guess what that anyone in a group that was getting the shots who pussed out got spanked – a couple of them seemed to enjoy it. The band “Rothseepower” was playing and they mixed in Bavarian-style renditions of Sweet Home Alabama and Bad Moon Rising along with the typical music expected by Americans at a restaurant serving German food. The beer was damn good too!

Monday

Time to leave the confines of Vegas and start doing some sight-seeing. We piled into the van and headed South on US-93 to Hoover Dam. We all completely enjoyed touring the dam, it is absolutely amazing. With 3 cameras firing we took a ridiculous number of pictures, which was a continuing theme through the week.

On the way to the dam we had spotted the Hacienda Hotel & Casino and their requisite digital billboard out front showing $39.99 rooms lead us to believe that there would be cheap beer to be had as well. Damn we’re good. We stopped on the way back after stopping at a gorgeous scenic overlook to add to the growing gigabytes of pictures and Robert the bartender from Philly took good care of us – we would be returning. Joerg managed to avoid a pink cocktail this time… barely.

We had spotted a road from the overlook that turned out to be Lakeshore Road, of course. This was about 16 miles of great road right through the Lake Mead rec area. Gorgeous views all the way and a much more pleasant road to drive than fighting traffic on US93. We would take that road again on the way to & from the Grand Canyon. If only I’d had my Corvette <heavy sigh>.

By the time we got back to Tahiti we were all pretty much done for the day. Alan & Heidrun headed back to Treasure Island and we ordered from Papa John’s from the shopping center behind us and chilled out the rest of the night. Pussy for being in Vegas, but we had hit the ground running Saturday and hadn’t stopped and all felt like we needed a break.

Tuesday

It was Andy’s birthday! It started with Joerg’s now-famous birthday tribute to Andy and continued with another casino tour on the big Strip. We took the van down and parked at New York New York and wandered around there for a while. Then we took the footbridge over the strip and into MGM Grand to see the lions. Our tour continued down the strip with a stop at the Harley Davidson Las Vegas Cafe for a refresher. No pink drink for Joerg.

We continued North along the strip on the East side and strolled through the streets of Paris, stopping to enjoy a crepe. We finished up the East side of the strip when the stroll through Paris dumped us at Bally’s. We considered taking the monorail, but $5 each for a few blocks seemed outrageous so we hoofed it. About half way back we started to wonder if that would have been $5 well spent, but we would have missed seeing the dancing waters at Bellagio.

After a rest back at Tahiti we headed back down to Treasure Island so we could take the footbridge over to the Fashion Mall where we were having Andy’s birthday dinner at Capital Grille. It was a wonderful meal, even with the finicky Argentinian cabernet! Another thank you to the very accomodating staff, especially their willingness to prepare Danni’s warm raspberries over ice cream!

However the special request dessert did take a bit longer than we had hoped and it left us nearly running over to Venetian to make it in time for Blue Man Group. It was my second time seeing the show but I enjoyed it every bit as much as I had the first time, and fortunately so did the rest of the gang(it was my recommendation!). The show is hard to describe, but it’s a mix of music, comedy, audience participation… basically it’s “performance art.” It’s absolutely a blast and I recommend it strongly.

A last pink-cocktail-free stop at a lounge in the Venetian for a whistle-wetter and some cheesy rock music by the band. We said our goodbyes to Alan & Heidrun. They were flying back on Thursday and we were headed off to the Grand Canyon on Wednesday for an overnighter.

Wednesday

After our morning routine of coffee, books and cigarettes(Andy & Biggi only!) we packed up the van and headed for the Grand Canyon. Unfortunately the internet was unavailable at Tahiti that morning so I had to find a hotel based on memory & Susie the Garmin Nuvi 660. Susie’s way better than I am because I remembered Williams, AZ as being the right area and she got us there.. but it turned out that Tusayan would have been a better choice. Worked out ok – we wound up at the Mountain Ranch Resort in Williams. But back to that later…

It was off again through the Lake Mead Rec area and down US93 over Hoover Dam and into Arizona. Sights along the way were great, including some mountain goats (pending resident biologist Mr. Hall’s verification!) and the mountains they live in. We made a rest stop at a little cafe along 93 called Rosie’s Cafe. They had a small fair-style crafts store setup and Danni bought a little something for a friend back home. Humble place, but very nice people.

After a stop at a Chili’s near Kingman, AZ for lunch we got back on I-40 and got some miles behind us. We stopped for gas and a break in at a Chevron in Seligman, AZ. Turned out to be along Historic Route 66 so after our break we drove that for about 15-20 miles until it hooked back up with I-40, crushing huge-ass plains lubber grasshoppers along the way. They were so big and so thick on the road that as they got inevitably crushed by passing cars & trucks the road looked like it had been dive-bombed by crapping seagulls!

We finally arrived in Williams and got checked into the “resort.” I use the quotes there because while it was certainly a nice location and looked good from the outside, the rooms themselves were pure 1960′s motel. They had been updated and were clean, but definitely showing their age. The hotel would have been fit right in along Route 66.

Though it was getting to be late afternoon we decided to head to the Canyon and do some scouting for the next day’s sight seeing, and maybe catch sunset. That aforementioned ill-fated minivan had other ideas. About 14 miles North of I-40 along AZ-64 there was a loud noise and just as I was wondering if it were us or the car that had passed us when the noise happened I felt the van pull to the left and knew it was one of our tires. We were able to pull into the paved entryway to one of the many dirt roads leading from AZ-64 off to private ranches. So at least we were out of traffic while Andy did most of the grunt work and Joerg (still with no pink cocktail) assisted. I did what I do best – work the electronics! I checked in with Enterprise to see how to handle it and got Susie to find us a place to take the van.

A couple of phone calls later I dug up a Union 76 gas station that was open more than late enough to help us out. I set the cruise for 50mph and tried to stay the hell out of the way along 64 as we re-traced our steps and then headed West on I-40. The folks at Sandoval’s Union 76 there in Williams were great and another thanks to them. I don’t think it took more than 30 minutes and we were back on the road with a new tire (the old one was not repairable), a slightly-used 12 pack of Coors Light (Andy & I help Biggi finish her mega-Corona) and a great recommendation for dinner – the Pine Country Restaurant. The Pine Country is a classic American diner, and in the best sense. Simple but excellent food, EXTREMELY friendly staff and great prices. Try the country fried steak, it’s comfort food at its best.

After dinner we were all ready to call it a day. A few beers and some motherfucking-snakes-on-a-motherfucking-plane later it was time to turn off the lights, cause Biggi said so. Silly her, it was just all the sooner she had to listen to my snoring.

Thursday

A good breakfast at the hotel and we set sail (Jerry Punch tribute there) for the Grand Canyon. The tires cooperated and we got all the way to the canyon this time, but the minivan’s evil ways weren’t through with us(ok, me). The parking lot by the visitor’s center was full so we had to park along the street. After pulling a U-turn when we spotted a space, I had it in my head that we were clear back to the car behind us and I backed the damn van into a rather hearty bush. Just a bush, so a few scratches, no big deal for a rental, right? <sigh>

We walked across the lot to the rim trail and got our first look (ok, I’d been there once before) at the Canyon. Truly is breathtaking, and that’s even after the initial shock at just how high up you are above the canyon floor. We took an even more ridiculous number of pictures at the Canyon than we did at Hoover Dam, but you truly cannot help it. Each step out onto yet another ledge of rock to get a different view gives you exactly that, something else beautiful to behold(I’m talking about the Canyon Biggi, not you.. this time ).

After walking down to the visitor’s center and realizing that we just didn’t have enough time to visit much more of the canyon we drove down and parked by Bright Angel Lodge. This is where we got a really good look at what I’d done to the van, and it wasn’t good! The scratches really weren’t that big a deal, they were all surface and could easily be buffed out, but the right-rear corner of the bumper was popped in. Something of a downer, but I shook it off and we headed to the Lodge to grab a bite and take a few more looks at the Canyon. That bite of lunch was an adventure. The restaurant had a very long wait so we just grabbed a sandwich at the deli/ice cream stand and sat outside. We then had lunch, and shared some of it (unwillingly) with the rather aggressive squirrels there at the lodge. OK, aggressive hell they were brazen and downright greedy!

After we finished our lunch & gave the Canyon one last gaze, it was time to head out. We had talked about trying some back roads, but there’s nothing really paved West of the Canyon out towards Seligman so we took I-40 back there and stopped again at the same Chevron. From there we took 66 across to Kingman before grabbing I-40 again. It was a great drive, much more relaxing and enjoyable than cruising the Interstate. As we stopped just outside Kingman for gas Mother Nature decided to show us something rare – rain in the desert. Not the last we’d see of that though.

We made a stop at our new favorite cheap casino, Hacienda, for a few drinks and dinner. The parking lot was nearly packed and an elderly couple walking up the parking lot with us(after we had dropped a nearly-bursting Biggi off at the front door) overheard our surprise at that and explained it was Seniors Night! Nothing like a $3.49 buffet to bring in the crowd. The then-quiet “stage bar” at which we had had our weekday afternoon beers was living up to it’s name that night, complete with celebrity impersonators. I’m still trying to blot that out of my memory!

Our dinner was at the steak house in the casino and it was very good, and of course… well not cheap, but certainly very reasonable. They even took our picture at the table(no extra charge!) and gaves us a pair of copies. Biggi did hunt down the lady who took the picture later on and gave her a tip, for which she was very surprised but grateful. We drove again through the Lake Mead Rec area and headed back to Tahiti for a well-deserved quiet evening looking at all of our pictures from the Canyon.

Friday

Friday started out with a run to the Home Depot just across the street for some tools for activities later in the day, and then breakfast at Denny’s. From there it was time to finally get Biggi her drive in the desert. We had done alot of web browsing trying to figure out just where to go and finally settled on heading South to the Mojave Nature Preserve. Turned out to be a good choice as it was just the kind of road Biggi wanted(cue the choir!). As mentioned earlier, it was again raining in the desert. But this time was no quick shower, it was flat RAINING. Still, Biggi enjoyed her drive and wants to go back, only of course next time she wants 4WD and for it to be sunny and….. add it to the list.

On our return from the drive, and after slugging our way across Tropicana Ave in Friday afternoon traffic, it was time to try our hands at body work. Andy grabbed the screwdrivers and I filled a big pot of water to use as a bucket for the wax applicator. Again, I let Andy do the work and I supervised and did some polishing on scratches. Once the bumper cover was off (pretty simple really, about 6 screws and 4 christmas tree connectors) I held onto the bumper while Andy beat the holy living shit out of the inside of it. After five minutes or so of… massaging that cover he had it looking about as good as it was going to, so back on it went. I finished up the polishing and the results weren’t bad at all!

We decided for our last night we’d head back down to Fremont Street for some gambling and to catch the light show. We didn’t want to worry about someone having to drive, so we took the shuttle down to Riviera and then the bus to Fremont, worked out great except getting soaked (raining AGAIN!) getting onto the bus. We grabbed a sandwich at the Golden Nugget, but after seeing that they had raised the minimum bets for Friday night up to $10 we wandered over to Binions.

Andy & Biggi wound up sitting down at a roulette table($4 minimum at Binions!) and I was having too much fun watching them gamble to bother myself. Also the cocktail waitress had no trouble with me “helping” Biggi drink her Coronas, so bonus! After all, that way Biggi’s beer stayed cold. I’m such a giver. There was a Binions-level high roller at the roulette table. He must have had $100-$200 on every spin, just dropping chips on numbers like crazy. He was up for quite a while, and the table was full and jumping. It was pretty cool while the table was full, the energy is pretty amazing and I can see how folks get swept up in it. But I’m still too cheap! Andy held his own for a while, but eventually ran through his original $100 and a few $ more. Biggi put down $100 and hit pretty big while making a run to the rest room where she was up $100! But she kept playing and eventually was back to her original stake, which she cashed out. It was my fault of course that I didn’t tell her she was up $100 and to stop. They played for a few hours and it was alot of fun, so I suppose it’s not an awful entertainment value.

Danni & Joerg weren’t in a gambling mood so after wandering around a bit and taking in the light show (*yawn*) they headed back to the bus stop and took it all the way up the strip to Luxor, where they decided to pop in and see how the other half was living. They commented on how different it was versus Fremont St, mostly in how people were dressed and of course in the minimum bets ($25 and up).

After Andy & Biggi were finished with roulette we grabbed the bus back to Riviera. It dropped us off across the street in front of Slots of Fun, which sits in front of Circus Circus. We ducked into Slots of Fun to use the bathroom and since we had some time to kill before the shuttle we wound up sitting down in front of a few slot machines. It was nice to be in a place where a draft Coors Light and a can of Heineken was $3.50 total, though the place was obviously a shot-and-a-beer party kinda place. Actually it had a cool party feel and we had a really good time. We even had the very nice cocktail waitress hook us up for another round while sitting at the machines, even forcing a bottle of water on Biggi. We all fed $20 into the machines and I actually managed to win! I had to lose that $20 and feed another $10 in before it happened, but I hit for $90, pressed Cash Out (in real quarters) and ended my bigtime gambling for the week up $19. We grabbed the last shuttle of the day (1:30am) and headed back to Tahiti to get some sleep so we could wake up in time for check out.

Saturday

The gang had enjoyed our breakfast at Denny’s next door the previous day, so after getting packed, cleaned up and prepped to go we went back for breakfast. After that it was time to head to the rental car return and see how we did on the body work. Vegas has a new (to me) central rental car return off-site and to our advantage the return areas are in a parking garage. We pulled up, unloaded and held our breath as the Enterprise guy walked around the car. He didn’t give the bumper a second look! Breath released and then Andy had to fill out forms to get the refund for the tire replacement.

The flight was a bit delayed as the inbound flight was running behind so we lifted off the runway about an hour or so late. Our flight out had been about as pleasant as you could hope for on USAir these days but the return flight was not. The flight crew (almost entirely male) was downright rude. One of the attendants tossed a bag of pretzels into Andy’s lap and another one backhanded a soda to us over the head of the passenger sitting in front of me without so much as looking back. Additionally, in what I have has become common on USAir flights they didn’t load enough of the food that you have to pay for these days, no more than maybe 5 or 6 sandwiches that were sold out by the time they got to us. All they had left were the snackpacks with chips & candy. Then of course the wonderful Philly airport had mechanical trouble with the baggage handling equipment and it took an extended period of time to get our bags. Hard to avoid USAir out of Philly these days, but I will go back to doing so whenever possible.

It was about 12:30am when we got to my truck at the remote parking place and we were all damn hungry. I had been trying to think of where on earth we could stop on the way home that would still be open when I had a moment of inspiration – we were no more than 20 minutes from Pat’s King of Steaks! Our friend Billy had told Danni & Joerg about Pat’s during the visit last year and Andy & Biggi had never been, so decision made. They got the full Pat’s experience, 1:00am, place was hopping, a couple of busloads of drunk bachelorette party chicks… welcome to South Philly. The steaks were REALLY good that night and they didn’t skimp on the cheese for the fries… life is good. A great end to a great week.